Larry gulped
loudly, his nails digging into the leather exterior of
his seat. Bono sat in the driver’s seat, twirling
the wheel with one hand as he ranted into the cell phone
in his other hand.
“Bono, will you ple-”
“I don’t care what he says…no, I
don’t give a damn. Look, I’m supposed to be on
HOLIDAY…that means I have a break from the hotel
matters as well. No, none of us want to talk about it,
all four of us are on HO-LI-DAY…how the hell did you
get my number anyway?” Bono turned sharply again and
Larry whimpered, clutching his stomach, “Bono,
you’re a bad enough driver WITHOUT the cell-”
“Who do you think you are?” Bono snapped
angrily into the phone, stopping at a green light with a
jolt, cars honking loudly behind them, “CALL MY
MANAGER. Yes! YES. Paul McGuiness. What? Number? Oh,
ehm…yeah, 293…22 - LARRY!” Bono cried as
Larry snatched the cell phone out of his hand and threw
it out his open window.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“DRIVE,” Larry said sternly, pointing at the
road in front of them.
Bono’s face filled with disbelief of what Larry had
just done, but he sighed and continued to drive without a
word. Larry nodded, satisfied, and leaned back in his
seat.
“…So how far is it to this rented house?”
Larry asked, finally breaking the silence.
“About two and a half hours from here. Ali, Edge and
Morleigh are already there. I talked to them this
morning…we should get there around 9:30 I
think.”
Larry nodded again and Bono glanced at him, “You
want radio?”
Larry shook his head and leaned it against the window,
pointing toward the horizon, “Nice sunset.”
“Yeah…you should like this trip…it’s
a scenic route.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning long, stretching practically abandoned
road.”
Larry smiled, “That sounds nice…I’ve spent
a whole year in this city…”
“That makes one of us,” Bono muttered and Larry
shrugged coldly, “Sorry I’m so
boring…”
“No, you’re not, that’s not what I
meant…sorry I made it sound like that.”
“It’s okay…I can be boring, I know.”
“Nah…So when was the last time you saw
Ann?”
“…Very nice sunset,” Larry said again and
Bono glanced at him, “Hello? Earth to
Lawrence?”
“Bono, don’t make me talk about it…”
“I mean, you’re gone for two and a half years
on tour, then move to New York for a year and she
can’t make it just this once to be with you?”
Bono said.
“I told you, she had to work.”
“She’s been working a lot lately…”
Larry sighed, “…I know.”
“…Hey, at least your house doesn’t run
better without you in it,” Bono said unhappily,
tapping his fingers on the wheel.
“It’s 1995…I’ve been with Ann almost
as long as I’ve been with U2…it feels like
something between me and her has changed.”
“…Have you ever asked her why she won’t
marry you yet?”
“No,” Larry sighed, putting his chin in his
hand, “And now she doesn’t want kids
either…she used to love kids…”
Bono looked at Larry a moment without saying anything. He
looked as unhappy as Bono felt. Bono had been looking
forward to spending time alone with Ali, but now he
almost dreaded it. Not only were he and Ali at each
other’s throat a bit lately, but also he’d feel
guilty enjoying himself with Larry sitting miserable in
the same house. He predicted he’d be sitting up late
with Larry, both of them drinking away their troubles and
Ali mad at him. He slowed the car down. The longer it
took to get there the better.
“Anyway, is Adam still coming up tomorrow?”
“Suppose to.”
“…He’s not bringing Naomi, is he?”
“No,” Bono frowned, “I think they’re
pretty much a done deal.”
Larry simply nodded, deciding it best to keep quiet on
the subject of Adam and Naomi. Larry knew Bono liked
Naomi, but Larry had never really liked her all that
much.
Bono looked out the side window, toward the sky,
“Getting dark quick.”
“Look at those thunderheads over there,” Larry
pointed to Bono’s left and Bono made a face,
“Right in our way…WONDERFUL. Better make our
arrival time 10:30.”
“Ah, well…” Larry reclined his seat and
closed his eyes, “Wake me up when we get
there.”
Larry’s eyes shot open as he felt cold rain hit his
face and the chilly wind whip his hair. He was facing the
driver’s seat, but Bono wasn’t in it. The
driver’s door was open and it was pouring buckets
outside. Larry sat up, completely confused.
“BONO? What the fuck…BONO?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Bono muttered, soaking wet as he
sat down in the driver’s seat, shutting the door
behind him, “I’m here…God, is it
raining…makes you feel almost at home.”
“Why did you go out there? Why are we stopped?”
Larry looked at the radio and gasped, “And why is it
after midnight and we’re not there yet?”
“Okay, first off, it was raining, so that’s one
delay, two, we have a flat tire on a stranded road with
no cell phone, thanks to you…hence, us not being
there…I don’t think we’re gonna be able to
get there tonight. We can walk to help, but not in this
rain and dark.”
“Oh, shit…” Larry sighed unhappily.
“Yeah, and we’d be out of here by now if you
hadn’t decided to see if my cell phone had wings. I
could have called for help! But we have no spare tire
and…Jesus, they are going to be worried sick about
us,” Bono mumbled unhappily, rubbing his eyes and
running a hand through his dripping hair.
“I’m sorry,” Larry said guiltily and Bono
shook his head, pulling off his jacket, “It’s
not your fault…well, it is, but nothing bad can
happen of this…except us getting back aches from
sleeping in the car. And you didn’t know the tire
was gonna blow.”
The two were silent a moment, both staring out the
windshield as the rain pounded down on it. Bono finally
moved, throwing his jacket in the back seat.
“At least this car is spacious…in the back
anyway.”
Larry nodded silently, pulling his seat back up into a
sitting position. Bono sighed, turning the radio on and
fiddling with the dials as Larry looked out the window,
losing himself in thought. Bono smacked the radio with
frustration and shut it off.
“Can’t get any stations in with the
storm…”
“Bono?”
“What?”
“…Do you think Ann would ever cheat on
me?”
Bono stared at him, “Do you think she is?”
“…I don’t know. I…don’t
know.”
“Larry…”
“If she is, I don’t know what I’m going to
do.”
“Larry…”
“Her love was just something I could depend on and
it feels like lately it’s just been…gone.”
“Larry, if she cheats on you, she’s a
moron,” Bono replied, brushing his wet hair off his
forehead.
“…Why do you say that?”
“Coz, look at you! Good looking, famous and
incredibly talented rock star?
C’mon…there’s women in this world that
would kill for you…men too,” Bono added with a
joking grin and Larry shook his head, “Very
funny…yeah, but that’s the thing. I knew Ann
liked me for me coz she was with me before U2 took off.
I’d never be able to be sure whether that person was
in it for my rock star side or for me…”
“Then find someone you’ve known all
along,” Bono shrugged then softened at the hurt look
on Larry’s face, “Sorry…I know you
can’t just throw Ann away or anything…talk to
her.”
“I’ve tried…she just…doesn’t
want to talk about it,” Larry pursed his lips,
“…If this keeps up, I don’t think I can
stay with her.”
“Well, just give her time…maybe she’s
going through a rough spot now…me and Ali have had
rough spots, you know…like NOW for instance.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m home too much now, she gets aggravated by
me. I’m always in the way it seems…I’m
another mess for her to tidy up. It gets irritating for
me as well and we’ve been snapping at each other a
lot lately.”
“I’m sorry, Bono…we’re both having
rough times in love I guess. Most would think we have it
made, huh? Being supposedly rich and all,” Larry
said sarcastically.
“Right, rich after Zoo TV! That’s a good
one,” Bono laughed.
Larry sighed, “This is gonna be a long
night…”
Larry shifted uncomfortably as lightening burst through
the air again and Bono took a sip from Larry’s water
bottle. The radio clock read 1:23 AM.
“Won’t it ever STOP?” Larry frowned at the
rain.
Bono shrugged, trying to move his sleeping foot,
“Larry, this front part is way too
crowded…”
“Yeah, I know,” Larry sighed, “Why
don’t you go in the back?”
“Come with me, we can talk.”
“Your idea of talk is to bug me about Ann.”
“I won’t unless you bring it up,” Bono
promised.
Larry made a face, “Alright, but you first.”
“There’s no monsters back there, Larry.”
“No, but I don’t trust you not to push me while
I’m climbing back there.”
Bono rolled his eyes and squirmed out of his seat,
climbing through the gap between their seats to the back
of the car. Larry grinned, “Hey Bono…your pants
aren’t dry all the way.”
“I know…most of me isn’t dry.”
“It looks like you pissed in them.”
Bono sat down on the back seat and stared at him, “I
thought you were the mature one.”
“Nope,” Larry muttered, climbing over next to
him and stretching out his legs, “Oh, this is much
better…really quite nice. They should have taken
some of the room back here and put it up there.”
“Agreed,” Bono nodded, kicking off his shoes.
“Oh, now you’re gonna whip those out on
me?” Larry moaned with a smile and Bono rolled his
eyes, “Like yours are a treat…those big ole
things.”
“Yeah, but you know what they say about big
feet.”
“Yeah,” Bono smirked, “Big shoes.”
Larry shrugged, “That too.”
“…So is it true?”
“Is what true?”
“Duh…the big feet equals big…”
“Oh! Well, I guess I can’t really tell…I
haven’t seen anyone but my own in a while…I
mean, besides Adam’s obviously,” Larry replied,
settling himself in a slouching position.
Bono nodded slowly, then laughed, looking down at his
feet, “I have small feet.”
Larry glanced at him and they cracked up in hysterical
laughter. Larry finally regained his composure and
grinned, “You tell me then…is it true?”
“Ahhh…I plead the fifth.”
“The what?”
“American term. Means I ain’t
tellin’.”
“Ah, c’mon…it’s just me!”
“Like you said, I haven’t seen enough of them
to know if mine is…well, Adam’s is just
RIDICULOUS…”
Larry grinned, “There’s my answer.”
“No, no! I mean, c’mon Larry! Adam’s is
almost…well; I’m not that bad off I guess. Ask
Ali when we see her.”
Larry smiled at Bono and Bono scowled at him, “Oh,
just shuddup.”
“I didn’t say a word!”
“I know what you’re thinking.”
“Alright, alright…so you and Ali gonna be
okay?”
“No fair, now YOU’RE prodding…that’s
my job.”
“Hey, I’m here for you too. I know you talk to
Edge a lot more about…life than you do with me, but
I know about life to,” Larry mumbled, suddenly
serious.
“…I know you do…well, me and
Ali…we’re gonna be fine, I think. We’ve
made it through worse than this…I hope.”
Larry frowned, “…You don’t sound so
sure.”
“I know I don’t, but it’s worked out in
the past…it has to now, right?”
Larry paused, “…I wouldn’t know.”
“You and Ann’ll be okay…”
“No, I don’t think we will.”
“Oh…do you…wanna talk about it?”
“BONO-”
“You started it!”
Larry stared at Bono a tense moment. Bono thought he was
going to close himself off at that moment like he always
did…Bono expected it. To his surprise, Larry looked
at him pleadingly, his blue eyes suddenly watery.
“…I’m losing her. I don’t know what I
did…I…I’ve been like I always have…I
can’t live like this, Bono, I just
CAN’T…she’s…” Larry stopped
himself and Bono grimaced, “Larry…finish that
thought please…don’t close me out. You need
someone to talk to and, unfortunately for you, I’m
the only one here.”
“She’s…HURTING me,” Larry spat out as
if it was a horrible obscenity.
In all their years of friendship, Bono had never heard or
seen Larry so lost and desperate. He needed love,
companionship. Ann wasn’t giving him it and he
didn’t understand why. Bono filled with a rage.
He’d always liked Ann, but now…he was furious
that she’d put his best friend through so much pain.
Larry never deserved this. He’d been loyal and so
faithful to her. Out on the road…even though they
were never technically married, Bono knew he
couldn’t count on FIFTY people’s hands the
times Larry had turned down beautiful women’s
advances, saying he had a girlfriend. How could she throw
him around like this? She didn’t see like Bono did
how Larry would miss her sometimes out on the road. She
had no RIGHT to treat his friend like this.
“Larry, this is fucked. Make her talk about it or
get her out of your life…you can’t let her do
this to you.”
“It’s not that easy…I still care about
her…love her,” Larry sighed, turning away from
Bono and looking out the window at the rain, “She
just won’t LISTEN!” Larry shouted, hitting the
window with his fist. The glass shook and Bono opened his
mouth, though nothing came out.
“Do you know I haven’t heard the phrase ‘I
love you’ in over five months? FIVE months,
Bono…Something I used to hear everyday from her, now
I never hear!” Larry said angrily, staring at the
seat in front of him, “She’s…I don’t
know, acted like I don’t exist or something! When I
call she’s either on her way out the door or too
tired to talk for too long. And when she spent that week
in New York with me all we DID was argue and bicker. Row
after row, that whole week!”
“Larry, you have to accept…maybe it’s
over.”
“I know…God, FIVE fucking MONTHS…”
They fell silent again, Bono biting his lip and Larry
squeezing his eyes shut, trying to fight the tears he
felt coming on. He felt like his whole world was
falling…he didn’t remember what it was like
without Ann…she’d just always been there. He
was scared to be without her. That’s why he’d
gone to New York in the first place. To make sure he
COULD still make it without her at his side. He knew he
could, but it was the loneliest time of his life when he
did. He hated it. Bono didn’t understand; he was
happily married. Adam didn’t understand coz
he’d never been in a long-term relationship. Edge
was too happy with Morleigh to notice that Larry was
unhappy.
Larry was brought out of his thoughts by Bono’s hand
on his shoulders, his sad eyes connecting with
Larry’s.
“I know that you think I can’t understand,
but…I’m here for you, no matter what.”
That made Larry want to cry even more,
“Thanks,” he croaked.
Bono sighed, not moving his hand from Larry’s
shoulder. He didn’t know what to do. Larry looked so
scared, upset…Bono felt pretty much the same, for
Larry and for himself. His relationship with Ali was
pretty rocky lately as well…he understood where
Larry was coming from. But he just wanted Larry to feel
better, to be happy again. He realized with a slight
unpleasantness that he hadn’t noticed how little
Larry had been smiling the past two years…tonight
had been the first night in a while Larry had laughed
freely…Bono missed that geeky, adorable laugh.
Wait, adorable? Geeky, yeah, but…where had he gotten
adorable from?
“Bono…”
“W-what?”
“You can, uhm…move your hand now, if you
want.”
“Oh, sorry,” Bono snatched his hand away,
“I just…I’m, uh…”
“Don’t worry about me…I’ll probably
be okay…I hope.”
“I always worry about you, Larry, you know
that.”
“Yeah, and…Bono, you’ve been great for me,
all these years. You’re my best friend and
probably…one of the most important people in my
life.
Bono was taken aback. Larry didn’t throw around
sentiments that often and was usually pretty strict about
them when he did. He didn’t go out and say,
“hey, you mean a lot to me” unless he really,
really meant it. The most important person in
Larry’s life was a Nobel Peace Prize in Bono’s
eyes. Was Larry was finally letting him in?
“There’s a lot of stuff I never told you,”
Larry went on, “That I haven’t told a lot of
people…but…I mean, you’ve done a lot for
me and I just wanted to you to know that I noticed and I
appreciate it. I really do only have about two handfuls
of friends, and I did that on purpose…but your place
as my friend was never in question. Sometimes it seems
like…” Larry paused, almost as if to stop, but
he’d already said more than he intended to. Might as
well tell Bono the whole truth, “Sometimes, I feel
like you’re the only person who understands me. I
know we had no clue during Achtung Baby,
but…you’ve always known my FEELINGS. You know
when I’m happy, mad, frustrated, confused…even
if you don’t know what I WANT, you know what I
FEEL…I don’t think anyone else could ever be
like that for me,” Larry tried to swallow back the
tears, unaware that one had already trailed down his
face, “And…God, in times like these,
you’re all I’ve got. The only one who CARES and
is totally selfless and is willing to put me before them
for two seconds and…you’re just THERE. I
don’t know anyone more loy-”
Bono had no clue what had made him do it. Maybe it was
Larry’s heartfelt confession. Maybe it was trying to
make Larry feel better…maybe it was trying to make
himself feel better. But he did it. He leaned forward and
pressed his lips against Larry’s. Larry let out a
startled moan, but didn’t pull away from the kiss.
In all his life…never had he needed something like
this so badly. SOMEONE like this.
Larry had never really stopped to think of Bono in any
other way but a friend and he simply didn’t have it
in him to wonder now. It felt good and he needed someone,
anyone, to love him in that different way. Someone who
wouldn’t hurt or use or ignore him…he knew Bono
would never do any of those things. Bono had always been
the closest Larry had found to a Soulmate…someone
who didn’t need explanations, someone who just KNEW.
Once again, Bono just KNEW what Larry needed. Without
even thinking twice about it, Larry pulled Bono closer.
Bono slid over to him, still locked in their passionate
kiss. Larry could feel Bono’s still wet hair on his
cheek, the coldness of Bono’s water logged shirt
against his arms. Bono slid his arms around Larry’s
waist, pushing him down on the seat. Bono had no idea
what he was doing. He was moving on instinct and even if
it wasn’t the right thing to do and even if it
didn’t help either of them in anyway, it felt right.
At least there was that.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,”
Bono mumbled, breaking their kiss.
“Me either,” Larry said breathlessly.
Their eyes met and Bono frowned, “I have no clue
what we’re doing.”
“I know, but…” Larry lowered his eyes. He
couldn’t explain…maybe Bono DIDN’T always
know.
Bono smiled slightly, sitting up, “You’re cute
when you’re scared.”
Larry stared down at the wet shirt clinging to
Bono’s chest and grinned, “…And
you’re cute when you’re wet.”
Bono nodded with a knowing look, running a hand through
his slick hair, “I’m soaked through
still.”
“…Everywhere?”
“Pretty much…” Bono’s words trailed
off and he looked at Larry, a glint in his eye,
“Yeah, everywhere.”
Larry grabbed his arm and yanked him back into another
kiss. Frustration, anger, sadness,
depression…everything Larry had felt in the last two
years he put into that kiss. Anyway to show Bono some of
what he felt, what he’d really been going through.
But over all the emotions, to show Bono he really needed
someone now.
Larry slid down on the seat, Bono laying gently on top of
him. Larry pulled away from the kiss, not feeling
suffocated, but more covered in a warm
blanket…someone did care about him. It felt
wonderful. Bono smiled at him, a loving smile, and
brushed a strand of Larry’s hair off his forehead,
kissing him again, his hands sliding under Larry’s
shirt. A chill went through Larry at the feel of
Bono’s hands - God, even when he was soaking wet
with cold water he felt warm to Larry - against his skin.
“Bono…”
“What?” Bono murmured into Larry’s neck.
“…Are we going to regret this?”
“Did you tell me the truth earlier about me being
one of the most important people in your life?”
“Of course.”
“And do you know how much you mean to me?”
“…I think.”
“Then we won’t regret it, okay?”
Larry nodded silently, finally giving into the feeling
wholly, no longer holding back. Bono helped Larry pull
his shirt off, struggling a bit with the confines of the
car space. He was never going to forget this night, that
was for sure…
“I took your advice…”
“What advice?” Bono asked.
“You said to find someone I’d known all
along.”
Bono smirked, kissing Larry along his collarbone,
“Larry?”
“Yeah?” Larry said in a cracked voice, his
fingers pressing tightly against the back of Bono’s
neck.
Bono looked at Larry, the sadness there now more of a
dull sorrow and tender loyalty, “No matter what
happens with you and Ann…”
“Bono, please…I don’t want to think about
her now…not now.”
“I know, I just…no matter what, I want you to
know and to hear this.”
“…Hear what?”
“…Five months is too long and it will never
happen again. I guarantee that.”
“Oh…Bono, it’s been so long…it’d
seem foreign now.”
“From Ann maybe…I’ve never told you that
before.”
Larry smiled weakly, running a hand through Bono’s
hair, and Bono brushed his lips across Larry’s.
“I love you…does that sound bad? I’m
telling the truth…I would never lie about that. I
love you so much…”
“It sounds…” Larry stopped and sighed.
“…Yeah?”
Larry smiled, “It sounds like something I could get
used to hearing from you.”
Bono grinned and then paused, “…Hey, the rain
stopped…we can go walk for help now.”
Larry shook his head, slowly pulling Bono back down into
another kiss.
“Not tonight…”
*~*~*~*
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