Nothing
could be heard in the dark alley on the side of the
hotel, except for the sound of two people walking in the
shadows. And the annoying sound of a cell phone ringing.
"Ello?" A fake irish accent chimed into the
phone.
"Jess! Why do you have a cell phone. Where did you
GET a cell phone?!"
Jess looked away from the phone and at Mandy, who was
tapping her foot impatiently.
"I dunno." Jess simply stated.
"Who is that anyway?" Mandy asked as she
gestured to the phone.
"Who be this, and how did you get this number?"
Jess asked into the phone, with her fake irish accent.
"It's Mandi..and this is MY phone Jess! How the hell
did you get it?!" Mandi complained into the phone.
"Er..sorry, gotta go. The bus is here." Jess
said as she hung up the phone, leaving Mandi yelling to
herself.
"The bus?!" Mandy squealed.
Jess shrugged and looked up at the side of the hotel,
falling backwards when she tilted too far back.
"That was bright." Mandy said as she herself
pondered the side of the building.
"I know. So..how are we going to get up that
high?"
"Uh..I don't know." Mandy said, obliviously.
"Why don't we just go into the lobby and say that
we're family, or something?" Jess suggested.
Mandy grinned, getting one of those evil ideas and then
shook her head.
"Nah..they'd probly make us go through a million
security searches or something." She said.
"How about..we just get something simple for Mandi
for her birthday?!" Jess said, with a touch of
sarcasm.
"We could do that, we should do that, but it
wouldn't be like us to do such a thing." Mandy said.
"True. She'd probly think it was a bomb or
something." Jess said as she shook up a can of silly
string, and then got one of those evil I-got-an-idear
grins on her face.
"Uh oh." Mandy gasped, seeing that oh so evil
grin of Jess'.
"C'mon! I have an idear!" Jess squealed as she
pulled Mandy by the arm into the shadows of the alley.
Meanwhile, up in his luxurious hotel room, Larry Mullen
was sitting contently on his bed reading a fruity issue
of Rolling Stone. He took a bite of his blueberry muffin
and a sip of his hot coco, before he heard something
outside.
"Oh Laaaaarrrrryyyy..." Came an irish accent.
"Who's there?" Larry asked as he cautiously
walked over to the window.
"Come to the window Larrrry!"
"Adam? Edge? Bono?!"
"It's Bono. Now come to the window."
"Bono? You sound kinda..funny-ish. And why are you
on my fire escape?" Larry said, with an odd look.
"I have a cold dammit, fire escape jumping is the
newest trend, now come to the window!"
"You were fine this mor.."
"Just come to the bleedin' window for god's
sake!"
"Alright! Alright! What do you
wan..AAAAAAHHHH!"
Before Larry could finish his sentence, Mandy and Jess
jumped into the window and covered Larry in silly string
and coverd his eyes with a bandana.
"Dude..it worked." Mandy said.
"Of course it worked! Silly string ALWAYS
works!" Jess said with glee.
"What the hell is going on?!" Larry yelled,
tied to a chair with jump ropes.
"No need to yell Larry." Jess said.
"Are you gonna..kill me?!" Larry shrieked.
Mandy rolled her eyes and took the bandana off of Larry's
head.
"Do we look like we could kill you?" She asked.
"Girls?! Girls! I was tied to a chair and silly
stringed by teenage girls?!" He whined in disbelief.
"Please do get over that." Jess said as she let
out whatever was in the silly string can on Larry's head.
Larry gave a miffed look as he felt the silly sting on
his head.
"So..what do you guys want?" He asked.
Mandy and Jess looked at eachother and wandered off to a
corner to consult. Larry looked on, with a bored and
confused look. After fifteen minutes Mandy and Jess
skipped back over to Larry.
"Well?" Larry asked.
"Uh..you tell him Jess." Mandy said as she
pushed Jess forward.
Uh..er..well.."
"Just say it. It can't be any weirder than
this." Larry said.
"We need you for a birthday present."
"I lied. That is weirder." Larry said with a
very surprised tone.
"Why the hell are you so excited?" Mandy asked.
"If you've only seen half of the fan mail I get.
It's just that, no one has ever made it into my hotel
room and tied me to a chair with..er..jump ropes."
Larry said.
Jess and Mandy stood in glee as Larry gave them funny
looks.
"So, what did you mean by..birthday present?"
Larry asked.
"Um, well, we didn't know what to get our friend
Mandi for her birthday, when it dawned on us at four in
the morning. You would be the perfect gift!" Jess
said.
"Er..she's not gonna keep you or anything. That
would just be..wrong." Mandy added.
Larry looked on in a confused state, thinking of what to
say to his demented captors.
"So..you want me to go with you, and meet this
girl?" He asked, trying to make sense of what they
just said.
"Basically yes." Jess said as she looked
through the issue of Rolling Stones that Larry had thrown
somewhere.
"Did I mention that you guys are insane?" Larry
said.
"No, but now we can quote you, Lardence."
"Do not call me Lardence." Larry snapped.
"Rawr!" Mandy hissed at Larry.
Jess smacked Mandy upside the head with the magazine and
looked at Larry.
"So, will you do it? Please!" Jess asked.
"I'll do it under one condition."
"What?"
"You untie me and promise not to like, kill me or
make me do any stupid catch-phrases or quotes."
Larry said.
Mandy and Jess looked at eachother and shrugged.
"Ok." They said in unison as they started to
untie Larry.
As soon as Larry was free, he ran into the bathroom and
washed the silly string out of his hair.
"What was the silly string for anyway?" Jess
asked Mandy.
"I dunno. It just amused me." Mandy replied as
she looked through some of the dresser draws and stole
some towels and notepads and stuffed them into her
bookbag.
"What ARE you doing?" Larry asked as he walked
into the room.
"They want you to steal this stuff. I'm telling
you!" Mandy said simply as she shoved one of Larry's
socks into her bag.
"And what are you doing with my sock?!"
"Do you know how much I could get for this on
E-bay?!"
"Can we please go now?" Jess asked Mandy and
Larry.
Larry shrugged. "The sooner we go, the sooner we get
this over with."
"You might as well perk up, you're gonna be stuck
with us for a while. Mandi lives in Illinois." Jess
said.
"We are in Illinois." Larry said.
"Oh, well, you're gonna have to stand a bus ride
with us, and that might get weird."
"Great." Larry mumbled.
"Smile Lardence, you'll learn to love us. We're
lovable people. And you'll love Mandi!" Mandy said
as they walked out of the room.
"Won't Bono and the guys notice that I'm gone?"
Larry asked.
"Nah, we peaked into their windows on our way up.
Adam's dead asleep, Edge was eating cereal, and he looked
very interested in his cereal. Remind me to look into
that." Mandy said.
"And Bono..?"
"Bono? Er..I don't know. We didn't see Bono."
Jess said as they left the hotel.
After almost a half an hour of waiting at a bus stop and
avoiding hoodlums, they finally piled into the back of a
bus.
"So, where does Mandi live, anyway?" Larry
asked.
Both Larry and Jess gave Mandy odd looks as she rumaged
through her bookbag and pulled out a crumbled up post it
note with Mandi's address on it and handed it to Larry.
"What?! I don't believe in address books!"
Mandy said.
"That's all the way across town!" Larry gasped.
"Uh..and your point?" Jess asked.
"That's far!"
"No it isn't, an hour tops."
Larry jumped onto the bus seat in the middle of Jess and
Mandy, after seeing this freaky guy looking at him oddly.
"Uh..this is new." Jess said oddly as she got
pushed against the window.
"Larry! Calm down! It's a bus! A bus!" Mandy
said as she tossed her discman to Larry.
"Just listen to that and avoid eye contact with
anyone but us." Jess gasped for breath. "And
move over!"
Larry scooted over and put the headphones on and pressed
the play button on the discman and looked at Mandy with a
blank look.
"It's The Unforgettable Fire." He said.
"Well..yeah. What else would it be?" Mandy
replied as she looked up from her notebook.
"You didn't tell me you guys were fans."
"Er..it's kinda obvious." Jess said as she
pointed to Mandy's bookbag, that had several U2 patches
and and what not all over it.
Larry shrugged and went back to listening to A Sort of
Homecoming and looked out the window as the sun started
to set, and as Jess worked on a drawing and as Mandy
scribbled in her notebook.
Meanwhile, Mandi was in her room looking through her
inbox, randomly deleting pointless and stupid E-mails.
Seeing that there was a rather short message from Jess,
she opened it and begun to read it out loud, just for the
sake of doing so.
"Mandi, Ducks and I are REALLY sorry that we're not
online on your birthday! Don't worry though, we will
definately make it up to you! Happy Birthday! -J."
She looked at her computer screen with an odd look and
pondered what they meant by making it up.
"I hope they don't do anything stupid, like build me
a website or anything." She said to herself.
"Larry would be just fine."
She snickered to herself as she skipped off to draw
something.
Back on the bus, Larry was bopping to Achtung Baby, after
already finishing October, POP, and All That You Can't
Leave Behind. Jess and Mandy gave him odd looks as he
pretended to hit the drums in mid-air.
"He's been doing that for the past hour and a
half!" Mandy whispered to Jess.
"I know, you would think that his hands would get
tired or something." Jess replied, looking at her
latest drawing oddly.
Larry looked at both Mandy and Jess, who were looking at
him oddly.
"Are we there yet?" He asked as he took the
headphones off his head.
"No." Jess stated simply.
"Bloody hell."
"He's also been doing that for the past hour and a
half." Mandy said.
"Doing what?" Larry asked.
"Nothing Larden..er..Larry." Mandy replied,
with one of her stupid grins.
"He's gonna kill you." Jess said to Mandy as
she colored in a lemon on her picture.
"Nah, I wouldn't be that nice." Larry said.
Mandy just looked at Larry oddly.
"Right.."
Larry looked out the window with glee as he bus started
to come to a stop.
"Finally!" He gasped as he ran off the bus.
Jess and Mandy slowly gathered up their bags and walked
off the bus.
"I've never seen someone so afraid of a bus
before." Mandy said.
"Me neither. I think he's just afraid of us
instead." Jess replied with a shrug.
As Mandy and Jess got off the bus, they saw Larry oddly
enough, kissing the ground.
"I'm not asking. I refuse to ask. You deal with him,
Jess." Mandy said as she walked past he ground
kissing drummer.
"Why me?!"
"You're more..er..obsessed with him than I am!"
"Can we just please get to Mandi's house?"
Larry asked.
"So, he does remember names." Jess said with a
touch of sarcasm.
The three of them started walking up the street to
Mandi's house, where Mandi was undoubtly bored out of her
skull. As Larry was about to knock on the front door,
Jess and Mandy pulled him into a bush.
"Er..what was that for?" He asked.
"We're not just gonna knock on her door! That would
be...semi normal." Mandy said as she wrapped a pink
bow around Larry's neck.
"Oh yeah, this is normal. What the hell is the bow
for?!" Larry said as he looked at the bow oddly.
"To make you all pretty like." Jess said as she
handed Larry a birthday card.
"Now, just go in and be..er..Larry. Only
happier." Mandy instructed as they walked Larry to
the outside of Mandi's window.
"I'm going through the window?" He asked
blankly.
"Of course." Jess said.
Larry shrugged. He figured that maybe Mandi would mistake
him for a burgalar and would hit him on the head with a
bat or something. He struggled as he climbed into the
window. Jess and Mandy just giggled at the sight of it.
Meanwhile, Mandi was laying on her bed sketching, when
she heard something at her window.
"Now I know why I saved you!" Mandy said as she
grabbed a baseball bat from under her bed.
Larry gave out a few uncalled for words as he climbed
through the window and fell onto the floor. Mandi gave an
odd look as she watched him fall to the ground. Holding
her bat high in the air, she walked slowly over to the
man laying on her floor.
"THAT'S IT!" Larry shouted as he jumped to his
feet.
Mandi gasped as she saw Larry standing in front of her.
She was also speechless. After pulling his pink bow off,
Larry noticed Mandi, standing in front of him in shock,
still holding the bat in the air.
"Um..could you please put that down?" He asked
nervously.
"Larry..Mullen..is in my room. My room!" Mandi
shrieked as she dropped the bat on the floor and ran over
and hugged Larry.
"Um..yeah, here I am." Larry said oddly as he
handed Mandi her birthday card.
"Wait, how did you get here anyway?" Mandi
asked.
Larry heard a rustling in the bushes and a few faint
whispers from outside the window.
"Jess, Mandy, get in here. Now." Larry
demanded.
Right after Larry said it, Mandy and Jess both popped
their heads up into the window.
"We didn't do it. He can't prove a thing."
Mandy said.
Mandi just looked at them oddly. Even Larry.
"Ok, what did you guys do?" She asked.
"Nothing!" Both Mandy and Jess said in unison.
Mandi just tapped her foot impatiently on the floor,
getting that tell-me-or-you-die look.
"Um..er..Happy birthday!" Jess said with a
demented grin.
"Guys! You didn't!"
"Well, you did say that you wanted Larry for your
birthday, so..er..there." Mandy said.
"I didn't think that you would take me
serious!" Mandi said as she smacked her forehead.
"Um..well we did, so..uh..have a nice
birthday." Jess snickered as she and Mandy jumped
out of the window and ran off, snickering.
Mandi and Larry just sorta stood there for a few minutes,
not saying or doing anything.
"So..what do you want to do?" Larry finally
asked.
"Um..I..I don't know." Mandi said.
"C'mon, there has to be something that you would've
done with me. That was socially acceptable that is."
Larry said with a grin.
"This is going to sound stupid, but I've always
wanted to just sing with you." Mandi said.
"That doesn't sound too bad.." Larry said as he
looked around.
He finally spotted Mandi's karaoke machine, which
fortunately had a two mic hook up. Since he was now so
hooked on his own music, he put in 'The Best Of' album
and turned the volume of extra loud. Mandi and him bopped
around the room, singing and having a good time.
"IN THE NAAAAME OF LOOOOVE!" They sang
together.
A few blocks down, Mandi and Larry's music could be heard
perfectly. Unfortanutely, Mandy and Jess' hotel was on
that certain block. They both just layed in their beds,
staring at the ceiling with psychotic looks.
"Why didn't we close the window?!" Jess gasped.
"We're not that bright." Mandy replied as she
put her pillow over her head.
"Well, at least she's having a good birthday."
Jess said as got up and closed the window, and drained
out most of the sound.
"Yeah, but you know she's gonna ask us everything we
did to him tomorrow." Mandy said.
"Uh..oh." Jess trailed off.
Mandy and Jess both looked at eachother from their beds.
After five minutes, they shot out of their beds and
started to pack their things.
"Where are we gonna go?" Jess asked as they ran
down the hall of the hotel.
"I don't know! We can get a head start on Kris's
birthday! Where's that Justin guy again?!" Mandy
said as she and Jess ran down the block.
~FIN~
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