Bono double clicked on
the MP3 of his choice and smiled at the astonished look
on Larry's face as he knelt over Bono and his laptop.
"You wanna play THAT? Why?"
"Why not?" Bono shrugged, "It's a great
song...live at least."
"I dunno...we only ever played it that one
time..."
"And it sounded great!" Bono insisted.
"I know, but can you convince Adam to play it...or
EDGE?"
Bono made a face at the mention of Edge,
"...Uhhhh...well, he'll play it if YOU agree. Those
guys'll do ANYTHING if you think it's okay."
Larry sighed, "I hate it when you do this...ah, what
the hell...I'll play 'Holy Joe', if THEY'LL play 'Holy
Joe'."
"Hey, EDGE! ADAM!" Bono shouted, getting up and
walking toward the front room of his hotel space,
"You guys, I wanna ask you something!"
Larry sat down in Bono's place and listened hard to the
song. It was pretty good. Lots of fun. The lyrics weren't
that bad either. The drums were great, now that he
listened to them. Guitar was pretty funky too. Bass was
just as nice. Sure, why not? It was strange...what had
caused Bono to remember this song after not playing it in
almost four years? But still, the song had some punch to
it...why the hell not?
Larry walked into the living room to hear Edge whining
and Adam looking all-around bored. Bono had that pleading
look in his eyes again and Edge was obviously festering
under the pressure of Bono's obnoxious baby blues.
"PLEEEEEEAAAAASE Edge?" Bono begged.
"I don't know, Bono...I mean, we played that at the
K-Mart Conference and…there's some bad memories
there..." Edge hedged.
"What would cause you to think of that song, of all
the possibilities for us to take on the tour?" Adam
asked as he puffed calmly on his cigarette. Larry had
been wondering the same thing.
Bono paused, "I dunno...I think I heard a fan
listening to it outside my house and…aw, c'mon guys?
Just try it once? We don't even have to play it on the
first gig...the second gig, we can play it."
"Why don't you let me think about it, Bono,"
Edge said.
"I don't think it's a half bad idea," Larry put
in to Bono's delight.
"SEE? Even LARRY thinks it's a good idea!" Bono
pestered.
Edge looked surprised, "Well..." he shook his
head, "Alright, just let me think about it a little
more...I'm not sure I even remember how the song
goes..."
"I have an MP3 of it on my computer, I'll let you
listen to it," Bono said, yanking Edge up out of his
chair, "If we're going to play it we have to decide
soon while we're still here in Miami for just rehearsing
and not the real deal."
"I'll listen to it with you," Adam said
cheerfully, following Edge and Bono.
"Now, Bono," Edge waved a hand at him, "Go
somewhere...I don't need you over our shoulders as we
decide."
Bono looked dismayed - he couldn't keep encouraging them
if he wasn't in the room with them - but Larry had
probably convinced Edge already and Edge most likely just
wanted to make sure he and Adam could still play the
fucking thing, "Okay, okay...I'll be in Larry's room
next door when you decide."
Edge and Adam walked into Bono's bedroom and shut the
door. Bono motioned for Larry to lead the way to his room
and Larry sighed.
"You're gonna fall asleep and then I'll NEVER get
you out of my bed!"
Bono acted offended, "WHEN have I EVER done
that?"
"Yesterday," Larry replied patiently.
"Oh...yes, well, I won't today. Scouts honor,"
Bono grinned, crossing his heart with his finger.
Larry rolled his eyes and lead the way to his room,
knowing damn well Bono was most definitely going to find
the comfiest part of Larry's bed and take it, leaving
Larry and his bad back, once again, condemned to the
couch.
* * *
Larry rolled his eyes as Bono snored loudly, rolling over
to sprawl his body diagonally across Larry's bed. Only
Bono, Lord of the Flies, would mange to take up every
inch of a king sized,
fit-for-Elvis-and-five-of-his-groupies bed. Larry
couldn't so much as get a toe in next to him to sleep.
He flipped the channel on his TV back to MTV and turned
it up as Bono's face filled the screen. The 'Beautiful
Day' video. Larry snickered softly at how stupid Bono
looked running down the runway and then frowned.
"This is a Bono video! You can hardly make out my
face at all...I can't believe I didn't notice this
before..." Larry sighed, disgruntled, and layed back
on the couch, pulling a blanket over him that he'd
managed to snatch right before Bono zonked out. What was
taking those guys so long? It was already two in the
morning...
Larry closed his eyes for a split moment, and then opened
them again with alarm as he looked over at the TV. Snow
filled up the screen. What had happened to MTV? He looked
at his watch. His eyes had only been closed for a little
bit...not even a minute. Maybe the station was having
problems. Or maybe the cable was out. Larry changed the
channel and found snow filling up every station. He
groaned, got up and walked over to the phone. Better let
the hotel know they're cable's out. He picked up the
phone and flinched as what sounded like a modem filled
his ear.
"My phone's out to?"
Larry walked over to the bed and shook Bono roughly.
Bono's eyes fluttered open and he sat up, clutching his
head.
"What time is it?" Bono croaked.
"Around two AM...my phone and cable are out."
"So?"
"So..."
"SO?"
"Bono, I can't tell them the cable's out if the
phone's out."
"If it's so damn important, go down to the lobby and
tell them. They probably know already. Now good
night," Bono snapped, stretching his body back into
"My-bed-and-mine-only" position.
"How the hell does Ali sleep with you?" Larry
muttered crankily and Bono grinned, raising an eyebrow,
"Wanna find out?"
"Bono, if I had money for every time you hit on
me..."
"You'd been a very rich man, I know...only a joke,
Lard Ass."
"Okay, Boner...please, can I have an inch of the
bed? That couch is MURDER."
Bono sighed, rolling over, "You do realize the
sacrifice I'm making..."
Larry crawled onto the empty side of the bed, too lazy to
turn off the TV, "Only makes up for me putting up
with you all these years..."
"Good point," Bono mumbled, falling back
asleep.
Larry pulled the blanket around him. Larry heard Bono
stifle a giggle and jumped as he felt a foot run up his
leg.
"BONO! Knock it off!"
"Hee, hee...okay, okay...just kidding. Good
night."
Larry readjusted himself in bed, "I shouldn't have
woken you up..."
"Nope," Bono said, his yawn turning into a
snore.
Larry sighed, his eyelids suddenly very heavy, and tucked
his arms under himself. The sound of Bono's breathing and
soft snoring next to him calmed him. Larry had fallen
asleep to that noise for years when they had shared a
room together in the early days...and now they were right
back where they'd started. Larry chuckled tiredly,
drifting off into sleep.
"BONO!" Larry yelled into his pillow, and then
shooting up in bed as he felt something once again on his
leg, "It's not funny, I'm TIRED! Will you knock it
off?"
Larry froze. Bono's legs were all the way on the other
side of the bed and it didn't look like he had moved from
a second ago...he was still breathing in heavy sleep
mode. If he hadn't done it, who had?
"Hello? Anyone there?" Larry whispered.
Nothing.
Larry, you're freaking yourself out, he scolded himself.
Just GO TO SLEEP. Larry found himself getting less and
less sleep these days, the closer to the opening of the
tour they got. He rolled over in the bed, now staring at
the back of Bono's head. He closed his eyes again.
No sooner had his eyes closed than a loud crash rang out.
Larry shot up in bad again, gawking. Bono was now across
the room, grinning back at Larry sheepishly. He’d
knocked over a lamp and broken it.
“…Bono, WHAT are you DOING? Go back to
bed!” Larry paused, just noticing Bono’s
leather apparel and bubble glasses, “Why on Earth
are you dressed up like The Fly?”
“Because I am The Fly,” he replied with a
greasy smile.
Larry rolled his eyes, laying back down, “I swear to
God, if you don’t go to sleep I’m going to
shove my foot so FAR up your arse…”
“What Larry?” A voice from next to him asked.
Larry’s head snapped over to next to him, where Bono
was sitting, staring wide eyed at himself in Fly-mode
across the room.
“What the bloody hell…?” Larry muttered,
bewildered.
“Who the fuck are you?” Bono asked his look
alike.
His look alike smiled, “I’m you.”
“…So who am I?”
“You’re me.”
Bono shrugged, curling himself into sleep position again,
“Just as long as we have that worked out.”
“BONO!” Larry snapped, pulling him back up,
“That guy is YOU? How can he be you if you’re
right here and not…” Larry pointed at the
grinning Fly, “THERE?”
Bono took a moment to think and scowled, “Yeah, that
doesn’t make sense.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Larry agreed, looking
over at The Fly, “Who are you?”
“I TOLD you,” The Fly replied smoothly,
“I’m him…well, more like his
alter-ego.”
Larry sighed, “Which ONE…he has a
million.”
“Yeah!” Bono nodded then frowned at Larry,
“HEY!”
“I’m The Fly,” The Fly said, “And
I’m here to show you what the world will be like if
you play ‘Holy Joe’ at that opening
concert.”
“…WHAT?” Larry glowered, completely
confused.
The Fly rolled his eyes; revealing a remote from some
hidden recess of his leather jacket, “Let’s
go.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you!” Larry
scoffed, “How did you get in? Security didn’t
let you in, did they?”
“Let me in?” The Fly grinned, “Security?
Babydoll, PLEASE. The Fly doesn’t screw with
security. Wherever HE is,” he pointed at Bono,
“I will always be.”
Before Bono could argue that point and before Larry
protest being called “Babydoll”, The Fly had
pressed a button on the large ZooTV remote, and all three
disappeared into thin air with a loud CLICK.
***
Adam woke with a start, groaning as the sounds of
‘Holy Joe’ washed over him. They’d left it
on repeat and fallen asleep. He looked over at Edge, who
had passed out with his mouth open and a pen in his hand,
a pad of paper in his lap. He’d been trying to write
down the guitar solo if Adam remembered correctly. Adam
had been watching him intently. He couldn’t remember
when he’d fallen asleep, but it had been soon after
they decided that if they could play the song, they
would. His eyes, their lids still droopy, swung over to
the laptop and then back to Edge.
“Edge, wake up.”
Edge grunted slightly and shifted in his seat, not waking
up.
“Get up, Edge.”
“Just ten more minutes…” Edge mumbled.
Adam sighed with a roll of his eyes, sitting up tiredly
from an uncomfortable slouching position. He looked back
toward the laptop and froze.
“What the FUCK…” Adam swore as a black
boot stuck out from the laptop screen.
“Edge…EDGE…EDGE!!! WAKE UP! GET THE FUCK
UP!”
Edge jolted awake, scowling at Adam, “Bloody hell,
Adam, WHAT?”
Adam pointed silently at the leg, tightly shoved into
leather pants, sticking out of the computer. Edge’s
voice caught in his throat and all he could do was move
his mouth up and down, attempting to squeak something
out.
“Edge, what the fuck is going on?”
Edge shook his head silently, still struggling to find
his voice.
Adam rolled off Bono’s bed, backing away toward the
door as another leg squeezed out of the tight area,
followed soon by a leather clad torso as the feet
struggled to find the floor.
“Edge…”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?” Edge finally managed
to yell loudly, scampering after Adam toward the door as
the torso finally come out, a head, donning bubble
shades, popping out soon after. The laptop fell to the
floor after The Fly has struggled out of it and The Fly
looked down at it guiltily.
“Sorry about that.”
“Bono, how did you do that?” Adam asked, shock
clear on his face.
The Fly scowled, “Boy, are you four dense. Do I LOOK
like Bono?”
Edge frowned, “Yes.”
The Fly stomped toward them, “I mean PRESENT DAY
Bono.”
“Oh. No then.”
“Who are you?”
The Fly readjusted his shades, “I’m The
Fly.”
Adam nodded, “I see…BONO! LARRY!” He
screamed, throwing open the door and pulling Edge out of
it with him.
The Fly ran after them, pressing a button on his remote.
Both froze in mid run, Edge’s feet literally off the
ground and Adam looking ready to trip.
“I can’t move!” Edge squeaked.
“Mef neifer,” Adam mumbled from his lips, which
were frozen closed.
“It’s called a pause button,” The Fly
grinned, waving his remote at Edge’s face,
“It’s useless to run…I have the ZooTV
remote and we all know TV controls EVERYTHING.”
“He’s got a point,” Edge said, looking as
though that if he could move, he would certainly be
nodding right now.
“Let uf gof,” Adam said, straining to talk with
his lips closed shut.
“Not yet, doggie. I gotta show you guys the error of
your rock and roll swinging ways,” The Fly said
calmly, looking down at his remote, “Now which
channel did I send your mates off too…?”
Edge squealed, “You got Bono and Larry?”
“Of course!” The Fly frowned, “Just
because I’m part of Bono doesn’t mean I’ll
do a half-arsed job like he tends to do.”
“No comment,” Edge replied stiffly.
“Wise choice,” The Fly nodded, “Let’s
rock and roll doggies.”
He pushed a button and they too disappeared into thin air
with another loud CLICK.
To be continued...
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