Author's
note: I'm warning you now..this WILL get weird. Mandi
inspired me to write this, after she gave Bono a happy
new nickname. Don't fear us! Love us!
Larry
shuddered as he felt the back of his neck and wiped away
a few raindrops.
"I'm getting wet." He said randomly.
"You're sitting by an open window and it's
raining." Edge said as he looked up from his
coloring book.
Adam sighed with boredom as he got up and closed the
windo. Larry shivered as he put on his fuzzy lilac
sweater and curled into a ball on his chair. Adam looked
at Larry's sweater and gave him a funny look.
"What?!" Larry squealed.
"Nothing..nothing at all." Adam said,
snickering under his breath.
Larry stuck his tounge out at the bassist and wrapped
himself in a blanket.
"It's finished!! Witness my TALENT!" Edge
exclaimed witha grin as he held up his coloring book,
displaying a picture of a purple elephant.
"Er..that's..creative, Edge." Adam said with an
odd look.
Edge gave a gleeful grin as he put his crayons away.
Suddenly, Bono pranced into the hotel room, soaking wet,
giving a content sigh.
"I feel so alive!" He announced.
Adam, Larry, and Edge looked at Bono oddly as he grined
moronically.
"Bono! You're soaked! What've you been doing?!"
Larry whined.
"I went for a refreshing jog!" Bono said,
smiling like a freak.
"Out there?! In the rain?! Larry asked with a whiney
voice.
"Yes! I feel so revived!" Bono exclaimed as he
twirled around in circles.
"Revived from what?!" Adam jumped in.
Bono paused, then shrugged.
"Bono! See my art!" Edge suddenly squealed as
he held up his elephant picture.
"Lovely" Bono said as he ran his fingers
through his wet hair.
"Bono! Please go change into some DRY
clothes!!" Larry whined.
"Why? I feel spiffy like this!" Bono said,
grinning dementedly.
"You're making me cold just looking at you!"
Larry continued to whine as he wrapped his blanket
tighter around himself.
"Gah, fine." Bono hissed as he pulled his wet
shirt over his head and walked into a different room.
"EEEEK!!" Edge shrieked, throwing his arms up
in the air and backing into the wall, causing all of his
crayons to fly all over the room.
"Er, what was that for, Edge?" Adam asked after
a red crayon landed in his coffee mug.
"He's..he's...all...HAIRY!" Edge squealed with
a high pitched and whiney voice.
Adam gave Edge an odd look.
"Um, so?" He asked.
"SO?! How can you say so?! Did you not see?!"
Edge continued to complain.
"Have you been eating crayons again, Edge?"
Adam asked.
"No! And that was just one time!" Edge hissed.
"Er, right. I didn't mean that comment
literally." Adam said with a grin.
Larry giggled madly as Edge threw another crayon at Adam.
Edge sighed and turned to Larry.
"Well, what do you think, Mr. Giggles?!"
"His hairyness is..kinda..disturbing..." Larry
said.
"I told you!" Edge hissed at Adam.
Larry began to giggle madly again as Adam gave a funny
look.
"And what are you going to do about it?" He
asked.
Edge paused, looked at Larry, and paused again. Adam
smirked, feeling semi smart for stumping Edge. After a
few minutes of thinking, a bright grin came across Edge's
face.
"Uh oh..." Adam said.
Edge looked at Adam, then at Larry, who was still wrapped
in his blanket and lilac sweater.
"Whatever you're thinking, do I have a good chance
of getting in trouble for it?" Larry asked.
"A very good chance if it's one of Edge's
schemes." Adam said, as he finally picked the crayon
out of his coffee mug.
"Joy! Let's do it!" Larry exclaimed.
Edge's grin turned into a cackle.
"Wait, you WANT to get into trouble?!" Adam
squealed at Larry.
"Yes! It's funny watching Bono yell and get wrinkles
on his forehead!" Larry said with a snicker.
Just then, Bono walked into the room. Larry and Edge
stopped laughing, and Adam made a straight face.
"There! Is this better, Larry?!" Bono asked as
he displayed his dry clothes.
Larry nodded in apporval and pulled his blanket tighter.
"So, what are you guys up to?" Bono asked.
"Nothing, in fact, we were just leaving." Edge
said.
"To do what?" Bono asked as he put on a pair of
purple shades.
"To..uh..pick out new curtains for the bus."
Edge lied.
"Ugh. I'll pass on that." Bono said, hating
curtains and anything else that had to do with home
furnishing.
"Ok, we'll see ya later then." Edge said as he,
Larry, and Adam headed for the door.
"Nice sweater, Larry." Bono snickered.
"Thanks! I got it at..GAH!" Larry got cut off
when Edge pulled him by the collar of his sweater.
"Come Larry! We have curtains to purchase!"
Edge said as he yanked Larry out of the room.
Bono gave a stupid look as he shut the door to the hotel
room, and got out a coloring book and crayons, so Edge
would no longer torment him about never 'expanding his
creativity'. As he looked through the coloring book, he
fave odd looks at some of the pictures, and some that
Edge colored in.
Bono gave a semi satisfied look when he turned to a page
of bunnies and grabbed a pink crayon.
"Adam!
Over there!" Edge said as he pointed to a small
convenience store on the side of the road.
The car pulled into the small parking lot and everyone
scampered out of the car except for Larry, who was
struggling to get out of his sweater.
"Gah! There!" He said as he jumped out of the
car.
They walked into the little store and looked around.
After almost ten minutes of looking around, they finally
found their way into an aisle with shelves filled with
shampoo, shaving products, and dozens of boxes of hair
dye.
"Um, so what exactly are we looking for?" Larry
asked.
Adam turned to see both Edge and Larry looking at him
with questioning looks.
"How am I supposed to know?!" He squealed.
Edge and Larry shrugged and went back to staring blankly
at the shelves.
"So...what should we use?" Adam asked.
"What about this stuff?" Edge asked as he
picked up a bottle of Nair.
"Er..isn't that the junk that women use?" Larry
asked.
"Yeah, but it's Bono..he's a wuss." Edge said.
Adam snickered as he searched the shelves.
"Should we just use a razor?" Larry asked.
"Too messy." Edge commented.
"Well why don't we just use a tweezers?" Adam
asked.
Larry and Edge paused, and then grinned at eachother and
Adam.
"Ah, so you've joined the darkside, Adam!" Edge
snickered.
"Shall we get Bono some silkening body lotion as
well?" Larry joked.
Edge looked at Adam and shrugged as Adam grabbed a
bottle. The three of them snickered as they started to
walk up to the front of the store.
"Ooh!" Edge exclaimed as he grabbed a bunch of
chopsticks.
"Er, need I ask?" Larry asked, with an odd
look.
"I'm gonna need a weapon when Bono tries to kill
us." Edge said as he studied the chopsticks.
Adam and Larry gave Edge odd looks and procceded to the
checkout. At the counter, Larry looked at the Asian store
clerk and tried to figure out why he was wearing a
'towel' on his head.
"That be seven dolla." The clerk said.
"Huh?" Edge asked, with a confused look.
"Seven dolla!"
"I don't know what he's saying!" Edge whined.
"Take stupid hat off and hear!"
"Oh, that's it!" Edge snapped as he jumped at
the fruity clerk.
"Edge, let it go." Adam said as he and Larry
dragged Edge out of the store.
"He messed with the hat! No one messes with the
hat!" Edge squealed.
"Just let it go, Edge. We have more important
missions." Larry said as he got in the car.
"Yes..missions..muahahahaha!!!" Edge cackled
and rubbed his hands together evily as he got in the car.
"Gah! Ow!" Edge yelled after he hit his head
off the car door.
Later
that night, after the concert, Bono, Edge, Larry, and
Adam all trudged into the hotel room. They were all
tired, except for Edge, that is. He was determined to rid
Bono of his evil hairyness.
"That was the oddest concert we've ever
played." Larry said.
"I thought it was lovely!" Bono protested.
"Of course you did. You're the one that decided to
tell the audience about how jogging in the rain revives
you!" Adam said.
Bono stuck his tounge out at Adam and Larry as he went
into the other room to change.
Edge snickered as he skipped over to a drawer and pulled
out the bag of junk that he and Larry and Adam got at the
store earlier.
"Are you sure you really want to do this?" Adam
asked.
"Yes!" Edge and Larry said in unision.
Edge quickly threw the bag back into the drawer when he
heard Bono singing to himself.
Larry, Adam, and Edge went into fits of giggles when Bono
walked into the room with satin purple pajamas.
"What?!" Bono squealed.
"Nothing." Larry snickered.
"Er..right..." Bono said.
A few minutes later, after finally convincing Larry that
there was nothing under his bed and that he was too old
for a Scooby Doo nightlight, the four of them went to
bed.
A half hour later, Bono was fast asleep and snoring.
Edge, who never fell asleep, glanced over at the clock on
his nightstand and grinned. He grabbed his flashlight,
flipped it on and cackled evily as he tip-toed over to
Larry's bed.
"Larry..get up!"
Larry didn't wake up. Instead he pulled his blanket
closer to him.
"Lardence!" Edge said as he grabbed the
blanket.
Larry sprung out of his bed with a quick yelp.
"What?!"
"Shhhh! Bono's asleep!"
"Ooh! Joy!" Larry squealed.
Larry went to wake Adam up as Edge got the bag of
supplies out of the dresser and skipped over to Bono's
bed and turned on the table lamp.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Adam asked
one more time.
"Yes! Now stop trying to get out of it!" Larry
said.
Edge cautiously started to unbottun Bono's purple pajama
top as Larry and Adam looked on.
"Have experience with that, don't ya Edge?"
Adam said with a snicker.
"Fuck off Adam, and give me the tweezers." Edge
snapped.
Adam handed Edge the tweezers and Edge looked at Larry,
who was holding a video camera.
"What ARE you doing?" He squealed.
"Taping this for future reference." Larry said.
"Er..right.." Edge said as he prepared to end
Bono's hairyness.
Edge quickly pulled one of Bono's chest hairs with the
tweezers. Larry, Adam, and Edge all jumped and ran when
Bono woke up and screamed.
"OOOOOOOOWWWW!"
Larry dove under his covers as Edge ran to a closet and
Adam simply sat on the floor.
"What the hell was that?!" Bono yelled as he
looked into a mirror.
Adam looked up at Bono, shrugged, and went back into his
bed. Larry looked out from under his covers as Bono
whined.
"What were you guys doing?!" Bono whined.
"Larry and Edge were ridding you of your
hairyness." Adam said plainly.
"What?!" Bono squealed as he looked at Larry,
who had his head sticking out from under his blanket,
snickering.
"Edge thought you were too hairy and it frightened
him. So he decided to get rid of your hairyness."
Larry said in between snickers.
Bono got one of those someone-will-now-die looks as he
looked around the room.
"Where's Edge?" He whispered.
Larry pointed to the closet as he bit his blanket so he
wouldn't laugh. Bono grinned evily and walked over to the
closet, as Adam and Larry looked on.
"So...since we're up, do you guys wanna go get some
coffee?" Bono said loudly as he put a chair
underneath the doorknob of the closet, keeping Edge's
coffee obsession in mind.
"Coffee!!" Edge gasped from inside the closet
as he turned the knob furiously.
"Um..sure." Both Adam and Larry said as they
walked with Bono out of the room.
"Guys! GUYS! Don't leave me in here!!!" Edge
called from inside the closet.
Of course, no one came to open the door, leaving Edge
locked in the closet all night, yelling to whoever was
outside the door. Which was no one.
"I'M SORRY BONO!!! LET ME OUT!!!!!"
From that day on, Edge never again did some of the things
he did that day. Getting so hooked on coffee, and he
never again went into a mini mart. And to this day, he
couldn't look at Bono's chest without getting the
memories of being locked in a hotel closet all night, and
running out of the room screaming.
~FIN~
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